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Archive for July, 2011

I know I was supposed to/going to stay at partial until I was at target this time round, but that really didn’t work out. Once again I left before anyone really wanted me to, but I had a different reason this time.

Because it’s a large hospital the staff doctors rotate through different services. The assignments are made by the head of each department. The eating disorder program is under the psych department. My unit (med-psych) is under the psych department. Until now I haven’t had to deal with staff doctors from my unit being on partial; I’ve only had to worry about all the coworkers I run into while I’m at partial (just two floors above, in the same part of the hospital). But on July 1 a new staff doctor came on eating disorder rotation….and she has worked 4-5 months of the past year on med-psych. Some staff doctors would handle this transition well, but I was concerned about this particular doctor. And unfortunately my concerns came true and it was not a good switch from coworker to patient…in fact it wasn’t really a switch, I was still a coworker. I didn’t get anything out of it and I was embarrassed to be there.

So I left. And like every other time I’ve left before I reach target I dropped weight immediately. I’m not entirely sure how it comes off so quickly because I swear I’m not attempting to lose weight I’m just not attempting to gain it anymore.

So I’m back in the cycle. I lost 3.5% of my bone density in the last 1 1/2 years. I know I’m not helping myself with this and I’m not sure I care anymore. I want to quit going to appointments. I want to quit seeing doctors. I’m not sure they can help me anyway.

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Update

I’m done with round 3 of partial. Again they really didn’t want me to leave, but this time I was a lot closer to to my target. And I was over the weight that I personally know starts me down the incorrect path. But most of all the 15-hour days at the hospital (a combination of partial and work) were getting hard to handle.

Now I’m taking epidemiology online, working full-time, and making up time with friends I haven’t seen much lately.

I’m hoping to clean my condo up, paint a few walls, reorganize my life, and play with Zef some more.

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